Dating After Divorce: Dos and Donts for Men
You’ve weathered the storm that is divorce — congrats! You’ve made it through. And now you’re free to start dating again, if you so choose.
The following is a quick summary of everything a man needs to know to get back into the dating game today.
How Long Should You Wait?
There is no rule (in terms of months or years) for how long you should wait to start dating again.
The best we can advise is this: wait until you’re healed enough to keep yourself together during a first date. If you’re liable to turn a dinner conversation into long, winding rants about your ex — you’re just not ready yet.
The key here is that you’re able to focus on the woman you’re with and your connection with her. Once you can speak succinctly about your divorce without getting carried away, you know you’ve made it.
How to Test the Dating Waters with Sites/Apps
Today, people meet online. That’s just how it is.
And believe it or not, using dating sites or dating apps is the absolute easiest way to re-enter the dating scene.
Don’t let yourself be intimidated just because many of these weren’t around (or weren’t mainstream) the last time you were dating. They’re a breeze to get into.
Why Dating Online Is Ideal for Divorcees
It’s straight-forward. You don’t have to decode signals from your co-worker or wonder if you’re really on a “date.” Additionally:
• Instead of meeting 1-3 people per outing, you have access to thousands of people all at once
• You know for sure the women are single and looking
• You know how old they are, some background about them
• You get an impression of what their life is like from their pics and bio before you start talking
• You can break it off clean if you don’t choose to pursue a relationship (unlikely to run into each other again)
Which Sites/Apps To Use
My #1 pick for a divorcee in his 30s/40s is OkCupid. OkCupid is a website that also has an app.
As a runner-up, you might also check out the Bumble mobile app. Both great choices.
How to Attract The Best Women
Just one word of caution before you get out there: be sure to put some effort into your dating profile pictures.
Because there are more men than women on dating sites/apps, many fail to get matches or replies back to their messages.
The thing most of these men don’t realize is it’s not a problem with them — it’s the pictures they’re using.
To fix this, you can always put some pics up at Photofeeler and see how they’re coming across to women your age. It’s really eye-opening and will tell you exactly what to use on your profile.
Optimizing your profile this way has been known to increase match rates by a ton (200-400%). It can be a real game-changer.