Online dating is brutal. You swipe, you match, you hope your photos are saying the right things. But are they? Really?
To find out, we invited three smart, funny women to take a look at three men’s profiles (photos only) and share their first impressions. What followed was eye-opening.
Their feedback isn’t sugar-coated, but it offers a genuine glimpse into how women think while swiping. Here’s their unfiltered perspective.
Meet the Judges
Jamie Y., 30, The Introspective Empath
Leads with emotions. She’s looking for spark, depth, and signs they’re not just here to hook up.
Jazzie M., 38, The Vibe Architect
Aesthetic matters, so does intention. She notices the smize and the subtext behind every frame, focusing on subtle cues others might overlook.
Katherine T.., 33, The No-Nonsense Romantic
Blunt, honest, and looking for the same type of energy. She describes herself as having a strong personality and not willing to settle.
Meet the Men
To keep things fair, we didn’t give the women any background info on the guys — just the photos. You’ll see them exactly as they did, with zero context and no names.
Each photo was shown one at a time, with no re-viewing or side-by-side comparisons. This is a pure pic-by-pic playthrough of what they noticed and why it matters.
Man #1
Photo 1: Two guys, sunglasses, and peace signs.
Jamie: “Which one are you? The guy in the back has more personality– nice smile, seems bro-y but friendly. If it’s the guy in the front, he doesn’t show too much personality.”
Jazzie: “I’m swiping left for sure. I’m not even sure which one it is. I don’t like to be confused.”
Katherine: “The guy in the front seems full of himself. The guy in the back is more friendly, but with his sunglasses, I can’t see his eyes. There’s really nothing to work with here.”
Photo 2: A solo selfie, outdoors.
Jamie: “Attractive, but again… not giving me much personality. It’s like, okay, you’re hot — but what else?”
Jazzie: “I would probably swipe right on that. I now know who it is. It looks like he took the time to choose a photo; his arm is out. He’s active and works out. He has a beard, and it’s not uneven. The smize.”
Katherine: “The lighting makes his features look dark and dull. It morphs the photo too much.”
Photo 3: Car selfie, holding up his hair.
Jamie: “Again, not getting personality. It’s a car selfie, and I’m getting that you just want to hook up. If I wanted the same, maybe. But I’m not getting much substance out of that.”
Jazzie: “That hand is confusing me a bit. If this was the first photo, I would swipe left. In addition to other photos, it’s probably fine, but I’d tell him in person that he should take this photo down.”
Katherine: “I like this one more because of the lighting. His face– not so much because of the lips, and the way he is staring at the camera is a bit creepy. The shadow, the strong stare, is a bit intimidating. Because of the face he’s making here, he’s not for me.”
Follow-up Question: Is he a right-swipe or left-swipe?
Jamie: “For a hookup, right. Anything more, even FWB, left. I know nothing about him, and he seems boring.”
Jazzie: “Right.”
Katherine: “Left.”
Follow-up Question: Any photos you wish he included on his profile?
Jamie: “Something fun and authentic, not as posed. Something that’s catching him in the moment, something that he likes to do that’s not fishing or a gen-bro pic. It should show who he is a little bit.”
Jazzie: “I’m all for videos on profiles. If you can put at least one video, amazing. I always try to do a video on mine. I might look a certain way in photos, so I always video, so you can see who I am a bit more.”
Katherine: “I’d like to see a photo where he’s doing an activity instead of taking a photo of just himself with a blurred background. Get out of the car, show more than just your face. Show what you like.”
Takeaways
Right now, his profile looks like three versions of the same photo: straight-on selfies where he’s trying to look hot. That gives women nothing to grab onto besides his face, and it comes across as surface-level.
When women say he’s “not showing personality,” what they really mean is: “I can’t tell what he’d be like to hang out with.” It’s not about being funny or doing a backflip; it’s about variety. A smile, a candid shot, or a photo of him doing something he enjoys would give women a clearer sense of him as a person and make him more swipeable.
Man #2
Photo 1: A vineyard selfie at sunset.
Jamie: “I’m intrigued. He’s in a vineyard; does he own it? He seems very happy. It’s a selfie, but he’s not trying to look cool. He’s happy to show something that’s in his life. It feels authentic.”
Jazzie: “He looks cute, like he would take me for wine in Italy. I’m not sure about the photo because I’m a reader too. I read bios. I don’t think it’s best for a main photo.”
Katherine: “I like this more. The lighting is a little bit bright with the sun. He’s in a vineyard or orchard. He’s soft, smiling. I like this photo. It gives off the impression that he’s older and doesn’t know too much about social media. It’s also him. This is who he is, this is the guy you’re gonna meet. I can imagine his idea of a date, sipping wine, picnic blanket kind of thing.”
Photo 2: A colorful portrait with a big smile.
Jamie: “It’s like BOOM! Great contrast from the background. I think it’s nice that he’s showing that this is what he looks like in a more professional capacity. He seems very joyful. He’s happy.”
Jazzie: “He’s colorful, smiling, looks natural. His eyes are bright, his hair is combed, and his shirt looks kind of jazzy. This one is much better; it looks less luring.”
Katherine: “He looks like a young version of Santa. I like the shirt, the smile, the hair — this is himself. He’s not doing an activity, but I just see him. I like this photo, despite the background. He matches the first pic.”
Photo 3: A moody artist selfie.
Jamie: “Oh, he’s trying to show a little moodiness here. I will say here, he does a good job of things in the background. Who are you? It shows a little bit more range than another smiley photo of just him. I can see what he’s trying to do.”
Jazzie: “The art in the back, I like that. This one’s alright. This could be a second or third. I would keep it in the profile, because the paintings in the back do show a bit of his personality. The background is important to me on dating sites. I do consider all that.”
Katherine: “I wouldn’t have this as a main photo. He looks a bit tired. I appreciate that I can see he’s human. He’s showing a different side, more serious, more deep. A bit of sorrow, a bit of sadness. It looks like he’s sitting at home, a bit of artwork. I can get the gist of it.”
Follow-up Question: Is he a right-swipe or left-swipe?
Jamie: “Objectively, a right, just because there are things I could actually ask about that could start a conversation. The outdoor shot, that’s great. There are some similarities I can see that aren’t just looks that would draw you in.”
Jazzie: “Right.”
Katherine: “Right.”
Takeaways
Man #2’s photos work because they feel human and approachable. Unlike Man #1 (all angles and car selfies), Man #2 is showing range: smiling, candid, and even a touch of “artsy mood.” Women respond well to that because it shows he’s a real person with different sides, not just a guy trying to look hot.
When women say things like “authentic” or “he’s showing who he is,” what they’re really pointing out is: “I can picture what life with this guy might feel like.” That’s gold.
Man #3
Photo 1: A full-body travel photo.
Jamie: “Okay, so I like the authentic smile. A bit of a real smile. I like this picture in general because I like traveling, the outdoors, and photos with a nice view. This would keep me looking.”
Jazzie: “Aww, I would swipe right with the background. He seems tall, he’s smiling, he looks friendly.”
Katherine: “I like the photo, I like the full body photo. He seems like a happy, smiley, nice guy. I can see a bit of his stature and how he carries himself. It’s an overall nice photo.”
Photo 2: A dog, tattoos, and a big smile.
Jamie: “Aww, that’s cute. Animals are a big, good one. Again, nice smile. It shows off the dog, tattoos, and a closer-up photo of him, not as far away.”
Jazzie: “The dog is there. He’s smiling. It’s a good quality photo that says a lot. You can see the tattoo sleeve, which is important for some people.”
Katherine: “Again, very happy and smiley. Love that he has a dog. I like tattoos, so I like that he shows them in the photos. I think it’s important to show the tattoos because it could be a no-go. I’d love to have a convo with him. I see he’s an animal lover, with sweet, gentle eyes. This is a great profile photo.”
Photo 3: A baby, but whose is it?
Jamie: “OMG, adorable! Babies are involved and I literally work with kids, so I love it. I do wonder, are you the uncle? Friends? Is it your baby? Which one is it? He looks caring. He could specify a bit more — ‘my friend’s baby is the cutest,’ ‘I love my nephew.’ Something like this rather than ‘not my baby.’”
Jazzie: “Aww! Yeah, I think that one is saying something — he’s safe. I would not have this one as the main because I assume he wants/has kids.”
Katherine: “Any photo with kids is amazing. It shows a part of your nature — kids, animals, family. It brings a softness to the viewers. I think any girl likes seeing a man care for an animal or a child. It makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Overall, I think it’s a good photo to have, but not as a main because they might question if that’s his kid, wants kids, etc.”
Follow-up Question: Is he a right-swipe or left-swipe?
Jamie: “Right. I can tell before meeting him that he likes to travel, likes animals, and likes kids. Which is a big 3 for me.”
Jazzie: “Right, unless he wants kids, then left.”
Katherine: “Right, he looks safe and kind, and there’s a lot to connect about.”
Takeaways
Man #3 nailed the balance that most guys miss: variety, warmth, and real-life context. Women immediately connect with his photos because they show what he’s about: travel, dogs, tattoos, family, and genuine smiles. That’s what makes him “safe,” approachable, and swipe-right material.
When women say he looks “happy” or “authentic,” what they really mean is: “I can see myself actually enjoying time with this guy.” That’s the difference between a forgettable profile and one that stands out.
Photo Award Ceremony
We must give credit where credit is due; therefore, we have three awards to hand out:
Final Verdicts
After reviewing all three profiles, the ladies had a few clear takeaways for men on dating apps:
- Don’t confuse them. If they can’t tell which one you are because your main photo is a group shot, they’re most likely going to swipe left. Social photos do matter, but should always be placed later in the lineup, after they clearly know who you are.
- Add warmth. Genuine smiles, pets, and family moments create instant connection.
- Ditch the dead eyes. Intense stares, blank expressions, and low-energy selfies send a variety of negative messages. It comes across as not putting in effort, having an ego, or throwing solely hook-up energy.
- Looks matter, but trust and connection matter more. Women want photos that show who you are and what it feels like to be around you. Coming across as trustworthy and safe is already a huge green flag.
If you’re wondering whether your photos hit those marks or accidentally send the wrong vibe, don’t leave it to guesswork. Test them on Photofeeler to get unfiltered, human feedback before someone like Jamie roasts your car selfie.
It’s the closest you’ll get to having your own panel of unbiased judges. In fact, here’s how closely Photofeeler raters lined up with our panel:
