Dating is hard enough with just one set of cultural rules. Add different norms and expectations, and what feels romantic in one place might seem clingy or awkward somewhere else.
From “I love you” timelines to who pays the bill, we’re diving into how dating in the U.S. compares to everywhere else. We pulled insights from global studies, Reddit threads, and first-hand experiences to give you the most down-to-earth guide to international romance.
Let’s get into it.
Defining the Relationship
When does dating become “official”?
In the U.S., dating is a casual game until someone calls a timeout to ask, “Sooo… what are we?” You can hang out, hook up, and even introduce someone to friends before things become official. It’s only after “the talk” that exclusivity kicks in.
This “define the relationship” moment is practically a cultural rite of passage in the States. Before that, it’s not uncommon to see multiple people and still not call it cheating. People from outside the U.S. are equally unhappy with this:
This is known as the “talking stage” and is intentionally ambiguous. People can or can’t “talk” to multiple people at once– the duo makes the rules. But although it’s called the talking phase, it’s more like the dating phase without an official title and commitment– people do much more than talking.
In contrast:
- Japan has the concept of kokuhaku, where someone confesses their feelings outright and asks to be an official couple, often by the third date.
- Brazil has “ficando”—a casual stage where you “have fun” together but not exclusively (unless discussed).
- France and parts of Latin America often skip the question entirely, and exclusivity is implied once you start dating regularly.
High-context vs. low-context cultures
In the 1970s, anthropologist Edward T. Hall introduced the idea of high-context and low-context cultures. It’s one of the most important concepts in intercultural communication, and it explains a lot about dating disconnects.
It addressed the question, “Do you have to say it out loud, or is it implied?”
In high-context cultures (like Japan, China, and much of the Middle East and Latin America), people rely on subtle cues, body language, and shared understanding. A lot of meaning is “between the lines.”
On the other hand, in low-context cultures (like the U.S., Canada, and Germany), what’s not discussed is not implied. People tend to say what they mean, and ambiguity is avoided.
So when someone from a high-context culture says “I’m fine,” they might expect you to notice they’re not. Whereas a low-context person would tell you what’s wrong.
In dating, this shows up as mismatched expectations. Tokyo Psychotherapist, Dr. Ana Maloyan-Kishida, explains that “foreigners expect more direct verbal expression and physical contact, whereas the Japanese partner may not feel comfortable with this kind of expression. Nonverbal communication and subtle signs are highly valued in Japan, and if they are not noticed by the Western partner, frustration and resentment follow.”
So if your international crush seems vague or avoids “the talk,” they might think they already had it… without speaking.
What’s the deal with PDA around the world?
Public displays of affection (PDA) like holding hands or kissing may seem harmless, but cultural reactions vary dramatically, and getting it wrong can be embarrassing or even illegal.
Kissing in public is normal in the U.S., Western Europe, Brazil, etc., but would land you serious jail time in other countries. No joke– India and Tunisia even have “kissing cafes” for these types of things:
A Babbel Magazine report highlights just how varied PDA laws and norms are across cultures:
✅ Socially Accepted:
Most of the Americas, Western Europe, Australia, and South Africa allow PDA—like hand-holding, hugs, and kisses, and are more accepted in urban areas. But even there, keep it tasteful; public indecency laws still exist.
⚠️ Culturally Frowned Upon:
In East and Southeast Asia (China, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam) and much of Africa, PDA may attract disapproving looks—even if it’s not illegal. Values around modesty (often tied to religion or tradition) play a big role.
🚫 Strictly Prohibited or Illegal:
In India, the Middle East, and conservative areas of Indonesia, kissing or touching in public can lead to fines, jail time, or public harassment. For example, under India’s Penal Code Section 294, PDA is considered an “obscene act.” In Dubai, even a short kiss can lead to arrest.
It doesn’t matter where you’re from. The saying goes, “When in Rome, do as Romans do.” Ask your partner what’s comfortable. A small gesture in one place could feel like a bold move somewhere else.
Texting & Communication Expectations
How much texting is too much (or not enough)?
Texting styles vary wildly. But there’s one thing most countries agree on: lots of texting in the early days of starting a relationship. Texting sparsely at the beginning of getting to know each other comes off as very low-effort.
Here’s what people had to say about their own countries:
- U.S.: “Consistent texting is expected early on, especially if the relationship is serious. If they’re not interested in talking to me, I’ll assume they’re not interested, period.”
- Brazil: “Constant communication is typical and expected. Texting is very important for maintaining a connection.” By constant, they mean daily, hourly, and frequently, not every 8 hours.
- Argentina: “People play it cool, sometimes intentionally aloof (even more so when they have feelings). They like to act like they don’t care.”
- South Africa: “Texting is more safety-based and less crucial to building an emotional connection.”
- UAE: There isn’t much texting in front of friends/family since dating is not supposed to be a phase. Still, many singles use discreet messaging apps and step outside to coordinate in-person meetups.
What seems like ghosting in the USA is common in Korea. What feels like “checking in” in one country can feel like “hovering” in another. Set expectations early.
“Cross-cultural dating teaches you a lot—like how to fight politely in three languages.” —u/bi-coastalbae, r/datingoverthirty
Gender Norms
Who pays on the first date?
You’re from the USA, they’re from Vietnam. Do you pay, or is that insulting?
These are important questions, and there’s not a one-size-fits-all answer. In general, women won’t pay for men, especially if the man asks the woman out. A lot of progressive countries are starting to split the bill, each party paying their share, but the overwhelming majority still expect the man to cover the check.
In the U.S., the inviter usually pays. And although splitting is considered “normal”, most women do prefer the man to pay. If the woman insists on paying her share on the first date, it typically means she doesn’t want a second date.
Here’s how splitting is handled worldwide:
- Scandinavia: Equality is the name of the game. Split the bill.
- Southern Europe: Traditional gender roles often still apply; men pay, bring flowers, and open doors.
- Latin America: Men still pay, but a strong women’s rights movement is influencing whether women cover their share. More and more women under 30 are starting to offer to split.
- India/Middle East: Men typically pay.
- Russia: Romantic gestures reign supreme; men cover the bill, offer to hang up coats, give compliments, the whole nine yards.
When in doubt, ask what’s common, or offer to split and read the room.
Is the man “supposed” to make the first move?
In the U.S., the answer used to be a resounding yes. But modern dating has blurred those lines. While some American women still prefer traditional courtship (man initiates, pays, plans), others are assertively taking the lead.
Still, cultural conditioning runs deep. Many women say they can message first… but they prefer it when men do. And some men say they want an assertive woman… but still hesitate when it happens.
Globally, the norms vary:
- Western Europe & North America: Mixed signals. Gender equality in theory, but traditional roles still show up, especially early in dating.
- Scandinavia: One of the most gender-equal regions. It’s common for either partner to initiate.
- Latin America & Eastern Europe: Traditional masculinity and “machismo” still dominate courtship norms. Men are expected to pursue and impress.
- Japan & South Korea: Men are often expected to lead, but with a polite, indirect approach. Overt assertiveness from either gender can be seen as pushy.
- India & Middle East: In conservative regions, men typically pursue, often through family-arranged setups. Even in modern contexts, the man initiating is the default norm.
Milestones and Timelines
When are parents brought into the picture?
In the U.S., meeting the family usually comes after things have gotten serious. You don’t bring someone home for Sunday dinner unless you’re headed somewhere.
Elsewhere, the timeline varies:
- India: Arranged introductions happen before you even date.
- Middle East: Parental approval is often non-negotiable.
- Latin America: Families are close-knit, and you may meet them early, whether the relationship is serious or not. (But usually there’s good food involved, so enjoy!)
- U.S./Canada/Europe: It’s a milestone moment, often indicating growing seriousness.
In some cultures, meeting the parents is the first step. In others, it’s the final milestone before marriage. In family-centric cultures, you date the whole crew. And their approval matters.
What if your families or faiths don’t match?
This is a touchy question.
Recently, a viral TikTok trend of dating wealthy men in Dubai has exploded. Women are showing off their Birkins, Lamborghinis and vacation homes, with a flood of comments from non-Emiratis like, “Gotta get me a rich man in Dubai,” “Goals,” “The life I want.” Meanwhile, many fellow Emirati women are jumping in to clear the air with statements like, “Girls, this man has multiple wives,” “Sure you get everything but it comes at a price,” and “Unless you share his beliefs, you will never be considered his wife.”
There’s a widely discussed belief that singles from certain religions may date outside their faith for fun. Still, when it comes to marriage, they typically choose someone within their religion or someone willing to convert.
You see this happen in:
- India, where marriages are predominantly arranged within the same caste and community.
- The Mormon faith, where more than four out of five Mormons who are married or living with a partner (85%) are married to or partnered with another Mormon.
- The Middle East and North Africa, where “Muslims consistently express greater acceptance of interfaith marriage for sons than daughters. Almost no Muslims surveyed in Egypt and Jordan would be comfortable with an interfaith marriage for their daughter.”
Can someone without strict religious or social ties have a happy, successful relationship with someone with such ties? Absolutely, but it’s simply not very common.
Is moving in before marriage taboo?
In the U.S., marriage often takes a back seat to career goals and personal growth, with engagements sometimes happening years into a relationship. As a result, living together before marriage is not only common—it’s often expected.
In contrast:
- India/Middle East: Engagement or marriage may come soon after meeting, especially in arranged scenarios.
- Sweden: Couples may live together and have kids without feeling the need to get married.
- Latin America: “Juntarse” = moving in together, often as an accepted step before, or instead of, marriage.
- China: In 2001, China amended its marriage laws, allowing unmarried couples to live together. So now, around 50% of Chinese couples live together before marriage.
- Iceland: Cohabitation often replaces marriage.
And timelines matter: a two-year relationship might feel “too long without a proposal” in some cultures, like India and the Middle East, but is considered normal in the U.S.
Universal Factors
Academic research and cross-cultural surveys show that while dating behaviors may differ wildly—from how fast you move to what “serious” means, certain values are consistent worldwide. Nearly everyone, regardless of culture, prioritizes trust, care, and honesty in relationships.
A 2022 study comparing romantic norms in the U.S. and East Asia found that although people express love differently (Americans with words, East Asians more through actions), the desire for a trustworthy, emotionally safe partner was universal.
What trust looks like, though, can vary:
- In the U.S., it might mean letting your partner have close friends of any gender.
- In some cultures, it might mean introducing someone to your family early on as a sign of serious intent.
This is precisely why Photofeeler includes trustworthiness as one of its core rating factors. Across every dating culture, people are looking for someone who feels safe, sincere, and real.
And yes, your photo does send a message about that. How you look into the camera, posture, and facial expression… all get processed subconsciously. People from any culture can pick up on visual cues that signal trust, and Photofeeler helps you understand how you’re coming across.
So if you’re dating across borders—or even just across town—it’s worth knowing: are your photos helping you build that essential foundation of trust from the first glance?
